Before You Follow…

facts-i-just-made-up:

This Blog Posts:

• NSFW, and several other letters.
• Untagged Gore, and other former vice presidents.
• Hardcore Pornography of fish, slugs and rotifera.
• Graphic Nudity of invisible people.
• Hate Speech against all forms of parasitic foot infections and fungus.
• Profanity and Vulgarity, including the ð-word.
• Spoilers, including clotting agents and mold.

Please Do Not Follow If:

• You are Anti-Vacs. Vacuums are just as legitimate as brooms and mops.
• You think Races aren’t real. There are many, including the Tour de France.
• You are Pro-Life. All life is evil and should be exterminated.
• You are Pro-Choice. USDA Choice is inferior to USDA Prime.
• You don’t believe in God, and furthermore that I am God.
• You are offended by offensive things that offend you.

I Tag:

• People who are not yet “It.”
• Yak ears and other livestock parts.
• Days in German.
• Pillows, and those tags can’t be removed except by the consumer.
• Items for sale.

Only Follow If:

• You are over 81.
• You are human, humanoid, or neither.
• You remember what this is:

• You are the 1%. Not a rich person, you must be an actual percentage.
• You support. I don’t care what but you must be load-bearing.

Finally:

• Caterpillars