You have been blessed by the Forest Gods. You will now have good luck for the next 6 months, simply by seeing this post. You are also protected from Slender Man, Bloody Mary and Jeff the Killer. You DO NOT NEED to reblog this post, you are already Protected. This being said, do not feel discouraged, you are free to reblog this if you wish.
In short, we present IMMUNITY STAGS.
I actually fucking appreciate this so much over the reblog or bullshit
You’re gonna have to physically get into the game and fight alongside a naked Norman reedus for 4 real time months.
Remember how he wanted the floppy disc for Snatcher to be coated in a chemical that would smell like blood after being in your computer? Remember how he wanted the disc for MGS2 to destroy itself once you get a single game over? Whatever Kojima has thought of during the past three years will probably lead to at least one person losing their home to a structure fire.
throwback to the time my classics professor asked “does anyone know who sappho is?” and i immediately replied “she’s the OG lesbian” and my professor yelled “EXACTLY” and wrote the OG lesbian on the whiteboard
Children were not informed about what conditions they apparently had.
“I don’t remember if I got anything in writing about their decision but
I don’t think I had an opportunity to challenge it … I took nine
pills in the morning and seven in the evening. I don’t know what
medications I was taking; no one ever told me that. I don’t know what my
diagnosis or illness is.”
Physical force was used to administer drugs.
“I also saw staff throw another youth to the ground, pry his mouth open
and force him to take the medicine … They told me that if I did not
take the medicine I could not leave, that the only way I could get out
of Shiloh was if I took the pills.”
Staff members initiated tranquilizations.
“When [a staff member at Shiloh] would call the medical staff, they
would come and give me a shot to tranquilize me. It happened many times.
They would give me the shot and then I would start to feel sleepy and
heavy, and like I didn’t have any strength. I would sleep for three or
four hours and then wake up and slowly start to feel my strength return.
When the staff did that, they left me in the classroom near the wall to
sleep.”
Children were verbally abused by staff to provoke a response.
“Some of the staff at Shiloh would provoke the children there and make
us angry intentionally. They made us act violently so then we had to be
given shots. The staff would call us names like ‘sons of a whore.’”
Some were unable to walk normally.
“They are requiring [my daughter] to take very powerful medications for
anxiety. I have noted that [she] is becoming more nervous, fearful, and
she trembles. [She] tells me that she has fallen several times …
because the medications were too powerful and she couldn’t walk.”
Some children experienced unhealthy weight gain, including one who said they put on nearly 100 pounds.
“After taking the medication, I was more tired, I felt sad and my eyes
got teary … I began to gain a lot of weight … In approximately 60
days, I gained 45 pounds.”
Some were handcuffed for days on end. “At Shenandoah, my room had a mattress, a sink, and a toilet … I was
forced to wear handcuffs on my wrists and shackles on my feet for
approximately 10 days in a row.”
Children were allowed outside for only one hour a day.
“I am suffering a lot being in the Yolo Juvenile Detention Center. It
is a jail and I sleep in a locked, small jail cell. I can’t leave here
and have no freedom at all. We only get one hour of time outside each
day. I have to live in a small cell with concrete walls.”
Clothes were taken away. “Whenever I was put in restriction, they took away my mattress and blanket. They took my clothes away about 8 times.”
And these are just the children old enough to tell us.
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking
this post has haunted me for like 3 years. every time i start to think i imagined it, it shows up on my dash again and then immediately disappears into the ether for another 17 months
Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?
Then about a week into their journey like
Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying
Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst
Legolas:
~*~earlier~*~
Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits
Merry: Frodo what’d he say
Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish
i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.
english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.
they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max.
frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.
so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.
plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.
so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.
to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather
was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a
somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.
so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his
upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his
Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice
from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really
obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!
considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.
…it’s
also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though
with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.
which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.
this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!
Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.
Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*
Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now
Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?
Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?
Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.
Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.
Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y’all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.
Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man
Motherfucking Cowboy Meowchow 