My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”
I’m sorry?
That’s a challenge.
Oreos aquired.
I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first
But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package
She is out of the house for a moment so it’s time to enjoy a few cookies
And find a new hiding spot
Hehehe
They up there
Normally I’m a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but I’ll take coffee if coffee is available
Now to hide them right under her nose
She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars I’ll have a big dopey grin on my face
Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didn’t know what was happening. Bit now it’s time for her to be in on the game she is playing
Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on
I’ve been cleaning house today and feeling like I’ve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos
Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years
🙂
Got up early this morning and helped pack everyone’s lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here
You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!
Then a devious idea struck me…
I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…
And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall
If you two weren’t already married I’d beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart
This guy’s dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what I’m here for
You like that eh? Well you are going to love today’s installment
Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left
Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there
Oh, guess I should put this back up
Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.
But then I looked again. They dooooo
Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y’all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop
She is so happy that the Oreo Saga continues. Just look at how happy she is
Came home to find this
But she never looked inside the blue chair
Good stuff, but it’s time for some cookies
Gotta have some while I think about where these guys are going next
Hmmmmm
Got it.
Ohmygosh oh. my. gosh. You guys. Near disaster. Check this shiz out:
Wife and I were sewing Elly’s Halloween costume up
Yea, she is going to be a spider and it’s super cute and all but. But. Loooook
Holy actual shit the Oreos fell out from the table literally next to her.
The moment she got up I threw them into the closet
Also:shout out to whoever it was that lost a follower for this post
Sry bout that eh.
Long, but worth it.
That’s what she said
SO ANYWAYS in honor of Halloween, the oreos have been moved to the Christmas decorations.
I figure I COULD leave them there till thanksgiving. We’ll see if I feel the need to move them again before then
Fa la la la la sucka
Happy Halloween
You guys wanted an update and I am finally ready. I have been thinking of a great place to hide em and I think I finally have an epic place. Just gotta go get em
Uh.
Well.
This wasn’t part of today’s plan.
Oh my god… This post just keeps getting better and better.
You should start looking for them.
Hmmmm maybe I should. Okay
Found em!
Ahhhh ok
Yo. What’s up.
Got some separated and ready for lunches tomorrow morning.
you are missing something! although those are the boots of the apollo 11 suits, they’re not what was worn on the moon. neil armstrong, not content with wearing just one pair of shoes, demanded nasa make him another, larger and cooler pair of boots just for walking on the moon.
you can see them here, to the right of the suit’s built-in boots.
photos of armstrong on the moon prominently feature the boots!
although i couldn’t find any official nasa photos of the bottoms of the boots, i could find something even more interesting! an x-ray of the boots “taken as a last minute check to see if there were any foreign objects that could compromise the integrity of the spacesuit during the mission, such as broken off tips of needles that were used in the stitching process”
the thick vertical lines are the treads at the bottoms of the boots
on a more pragmatic note: if nasa was faking a moon landing with a $150 billion+ budget, do you really think they’d mess up something as simple as a boot print?
146 years ago today Susan B. Anthony was arrested for attempting to vote. She died before she was able to cast her ballot legally.
Don’t disrespect her memory on November 8th.
146 years ago susan b anthony wouldn’t let ida b wells and other black sufagettes march with her unless she went at the back because she valued racist southern women’s opinions over genuinely amazing suffragettes who risked their lives when they could be arrested WITH NO CAUSE. back then a black woman could be arrested for sex work by talking to a man who was not related to her, black suffragettes who looked at a man the wrong way would be arrested.
disrespect the memory of susan b anthony, she fucking sucks.
Unlike Susan B Anthony, Ida B Wells did not die before female suffrage was passed. But she did die 35 years before she could vote as a black person. She had to watch for the last ten years of her life as white women got what she had fought so hard for while she was still denied it.
It will disrespect her legacy of anti-racist and anti-misogynistic campaigning by letting a fascist, racist, woman hater to not only beat the first female candidate for President but worse still undo all the work of America’s first black President.
Honour Ida on November 8th.
I love the turn out of this post.
Every time you reblog this, a white feminism upholder loses their wings.
We like to think the internet within the past half decade or so has honed shitposting down to a science but racing horse names have us beat by decades
This is a case of necessity is the mother of invention- for both race horses and purebred show animals, every.single.animal. needs to have a unique name for record keeping purposes.
Imagine trying to come up with a cool username if you aren’t allowed to add random numbers and underscores- only pronounceable words. Now imagine that this website has had tens of millions of users, and even after someone leaves the site their username can never be recycled.
WELCOME TO PEDIGREE SHITPOST BINGO
Pedigree Shitpost Bingo would make a great horse name
The best one I ever heard was someone sent in a list of possible names, and then at the bottom of the list, wrote, “This is a damn stupid way to run a business.”
All the possible names were taken. Guess what the horse’s name was registered as?
Motherfucking Cowboy Meowchow 